Amazing how life works. How people just appear in our lives for many reasons and yet, the impact is often enormousLy life changing. I, had such a person who would become an integral part of my learning, my path, spiritual growth and my own healing. A lady called Susan.
Susan, entered my life around 1994, my son Troy was around 18 months old at the time and they youngest of my three children. I recall receiving a phone call from my then sister in law, who was referring a client who came regularly into her beauty therapy business for treatments. As my sister in law at the time, was speaking on the phone, I recall beginning to panic. I was only just starting to learn more about reading with playing cards (Cartomancy), still referring to the book and practising my readings.
As, I was a mum of three, all under the age of four years old. I juggled motherhood during the day and in quite evenings i would sit and study through my readings and self practise. I had my love of cards happening, as in playing card reading. I had the occasional next door neighbour pop over for coffee and we would lay a spread or to but it was nothing too serious. Now, I had someone contacting me to do a reading!
At the time i was living in Orange, NSW And week or so passed when Susan rang to come visit and have a reading. My immediate reaction was to explain to Susan, I was not sure how proficient I would be as i was still learning this system and tool of cartomancy. I explained I had discovered my natural clairvoyance but, still was learning how to read using different divination tools.
” I recall that day, answering the door looking like a typical mum. Shorts and stretched T-shirt with a child attached on my hip“
I recall that day, answering the door looking like a typical mum. Shorts and stretched T-shirt with a child attached on my hip. I think back, chuckle to myself that, my first duty was a mum; I had no idea that my life was going to change so much when, I met Susan this day. I had no idea the transformation and growth that would follow for the next 19 years. I had no idea how my bond and friendship would be an everlasting part of my life or how I still miss her conversations and insights.
That, was the beauty of this Susan, we would spent the time we needed and now and then, we would reconnect and do it all over again as the years passed by. Susan, would become my spiritual mum, confidant, mentor, friend. Susan’s gift of wisdom, experience about the teachings of the Masters and our soul’s journey through karmic astrology which was based on the Master Hillarion’s works.
I felt very blessed to have met a teacher who was humble about her knowledge and passion for the spiritual path. At Susan’s funeral, only a handful of people ever knew the Susan I knew, “The Spiritual Susan”
Susan, 30 years my senior, focused on her path, arrives In my life. At this time in her life Susan, had endured the passing of her husband then, spent several years, fighting through the courts for a settlement on a family property. Susan was struggling with the recent loss of her parents also who both perished in a house fire. Of course, I knew nothing of this until months into our meetings. Susan, was not one to be that open about her personal life in the beginning.
Susan’s serious demeanor often threw me. I would be racing around trying to sit and do a reading for her between kids screaming, nappy changes and the Wiggles on TV. In the beginning I honestly, did not know how to perceive her attitude or thoughts when coming to the “mad house” for a reading session.
“ At the time, I would not charge her for the readings, I felt I was too inexperienced to charge money.“
At the time, I would not charge her for the readings, I felt I too inexperienced to charge money. I used to say it was good practice for me to learn to do it better. As the months went by Susan, would come once a fortnight sometimes once a week, not to mention the hours on the phone in between. It was thanks to Susan, I had to purchase a phone line that stretched my whole house as this was before hands free phones.
Soon, Susan would arrive bringing something of interest for us to talk or explore further, a book or a topic of interest. I, began to realize Susan and I had a lot in common with the visits. We both shared a love of astrology, numerology and other tid bits.
Susan was interested in Karmic Astrology or as we called it Hilarion’s Astrology. Hilarion is one of the 12 Ascended Masters and Susan was very much versed on Maurice B Cookes Channeled works and books. The information and knowledge base that would become my true structure through Susan’s, guidance and raw honesty.
I started to look forward to Susan arriving, spending the time (hours) looking over my astrological charts and placements to better understanding the system Susan found such a strong affinity working with (Master Hillarion’s works). I was discovering the soul’s journey; my path and purpose. I spent time discovering the soul family, karmic lessons and family soul circles. This encouraged my interest in learning more about my Own children’s path.
Susan took no shit from anyone. A spade is a spade and “don’t give me that palaver ” (Susan’s favourite word). ” come on Sag (short for Sagittarius) don’t give me that palaver, give me what you are being shown or told not what you think you should be saying to appease me”. So, hence my straight forward reading style and impressions came from the reminder sugar coating the truth helps no one.
Often a hard task master who made me remove all my logic and to open the natural flow of information. To allow the cosncious mind to rest and allow the subconscious mind to take the lead. I was encouraged to embrace a new understanding that, would enable a clear channel. It was a discovery of ancient knowledge, an acceptance of old past life experiences and patterning, present life journey’s and soul’s agreements.
All of which, was guiding a path to unlocking the soul’s Akashic records and to understand my journey as who I am now and what I have come down to this earth plane to experience this life’s journey, my family, connections and lessons for soul and spiritual growth.
“ Susan, arrived this day, for her usual visit but, this time with a gift for me. It was a deck of tarot cards.“
Susan, arrived this day, for her usual visit but, this time with a gift for me. It was a deck of tarot cards. I was looking at the tarot deck just amazed by her gift. Susan, was a no frills person but, I was beginning to see this lady, who was brimming with knowledge to share in time she was growing to trust me, or perhaps allow me into her life and energy.
It is the only way of putting Susan’s personality into words.
I recall thinking “holy crackers !” Here I am still fumbling my way around the 36 playing card deck system where the tarot deck contains 78 cards and whole new conceptual understanding of and boy oh boy I never really was attracted to them before? What am I going to do to get to learn these?
From that day forth however, the tarot cards have been my biggest passionate love affair! I still use that same deck that Susan gave to me However, in recent years I designed my own and the interpretations.I have found alternate or other meanings that resonate with the combination of tarot, numerology, astrology and other systems often shear away from some of the traditional meanings.
Susan my mentor, friend and teacher opened my mind to more than I could ever put into words but, as my spiritual mum I was and have been privileged with more experiences than I was to truly appreciate at 25 years old. My journey with Susan would span almost 19 years before her passing in 2012. Those humble beginnings of our connection through to her passing. I met someone who was a positive life force in my life with whom I will be forever grateful.
It was just before Susan passed in 2012, I recall speaking to her on the phone. Susan was asking for guidance on her passing, when and how long as Susan has been diagnosed some years back with what I believe to be breast cancer. We spent many a phone conversation in which we laughed about her not wanting morphine patches as it will” kill you! You know!” she exclaimed. I put my Sag humor to it and went, “well Susan, not sure if you realize this but you on a one way street.....go out in comfort.”
Susan trusted that speaking with me about her passing was to know more about what the guys upstairs were wanting from her before she was to pass. When the timing would be right, and if there were any left over lessons she must complete before that time.
I would say to Susan, I will see you before you pass as I have to travel to QLD in March I will see you then. Susan was not as confident that I would As her health was deteriorating quickly now. I think personally it was I in denial, I could not imagine this woman leaving the earth. She was strong and determined; she was still laughing and joking right up to the week she beginning her journey to pass over.
“ I must leave for QLD now !”
I remember sitting in my office this one afternoon in Bathurst NSW and hearing Susan say ” what are you doing? get up and get packed! AND don’t be more than an hour and half from the boarder!”. Her voice was almost annoyed yet with purpose. I stood up went to my bedroom immediately packing a suitcase for the 11 hour journey. My daughter Jessica walked in the door at 4pm from her day at work. I said to her “ I must leave for QLD now !” I explained what had happened, how I heard Susan tell me to get my butt into gear and get up to QLD.
I had a 11 hour drive ahead of me, I don’t know how but I made it all the way to Sleepy Hollow, a little rest area just out of Tweed heads at 3am NSW time. I thought I must pull over and sleep I cannot go on. I am only 10 minutes from the boarder, if that- as Susan said don’t be any more than 1.5 hours from the border in telepathic message. I will be ok I thought so have a couple of hours sleep before heading onto Susan’s at Mudgeeraba QLD.
After a sleep, I had stopped to get a coffee when Beth, Susan’s daughter, had texted me to ask how I was and where I was located? I was still coming to terms with why I was there. Susan, was always a private person, I felt like why am I here, this is her personal space and moment to let go.....or pass. I just knew I heard the words from Susan in my head to get on my way and get here And as you do I just obeyed the message.
I recall pulling up into the driveway not knowing what to expect. Beth, Susan’s daughter who has been nursing her mum through the past months, greets me. We hug and I do still not understand why I am here. I even say to Beth “I am not sure why I am here. I don’t know why?” “Are you sure your mum wants me here?” I kept saying. Beth said, Carolyn I do not think you get it, mum is bad.
As Beth and I walked into her favourite sitting room; Susan is in her final stages. I had never seen anyone pass in real life before so, I was not sure what I was to do. I mean I see people in a passed state as in spiritually but, not live ones passing. I know, I laugh when I say it too.
Beth tells her mum Susan that I have arrived. I swear to God Susan’s breathing raised a higher pitch as if to say” Bloody about time Sag”. I was not ready to let go, I thought to myself. “Shit!” What do I do, do I pray? Do I cry? Do I be strong? Do I say a mantra? What do I do? I had never experienced this before.
” There was several important people to Susan surrounding her and comforting her passing spiritually “
There was several important people to Susan surrounding her and comforting her passing spiritually. I felt that really was ironic, we were all important to Susan and present for our own reasons in Susan’s life. We were all there at stages in her life and now we are all there to farewell her by sharing this experiences and setting her free.
Susan’s breathing labored, she was in a deep state and not conscious, her time was close. I was talking with Beth in the kitchen and could see Susan laying on her bed to my left peripheral vision. I was mid-sentence speaking to Beth, when I saw a shadow walk to the foot of Susan’s bed. I stopped mid-sentence and said to Beth,” do you want to go outside for a cigarette?” as Beth smoked.
We exited outside and within 5 minutes, when we are both called to come back to Susan’s bedside, as it was time. It was time as she took her last breathes to let her go.
I can tell you, now the events that would unfold days later, I felt a privilege to experience on such a level.
Susan passed, within one and half hours of me arriving. ” don’t be any more than 1 and half hours from the boarder” was her message to me. This reminded me to trust the information you receive when it manifests.
The energy I saw in my peripheral vision I feel was someone who was there to help her pass over, hence being ushered from the room. Three days later sitting in her chair, looking up I was stuck by three white silhouettes on the wall. I could see Susan, had reunited with her parents as I saw three bust figures in the whitest of auric light above on the wall, whilst I received the largest confirmation that she was where she was to be and united.
“To Grow, You Must First Understand The Experience”
Susan will always be a part of me, my life, my growth, my path. Her work was never done when it come to me I do not feel, I feel it had just begun. I know she does her best to keep Sag! on the path by reminding often with fleeting thoughts and areas of growth in my work that I am embracing.
I even find myself thinking like Susan at times. Like someone will say something and in my thoughts, Susan seems to come through and I hear “oh please cut the crap and palaver and just get on with it, will you?” ” bloody what a crock full of bulls wallop!” Yes still calling a spade a spade from her new energetic home! Moreover, just letting me know she is still watching over my journey.
Susan taught me a lot about myself, the gift, my path and connection with Spirit. Susan encouraged my growth and most importantly, she taught me to keep it real. ” To grow, you must first understand the experience”